Sunday, 28 May 2017

sea creatures and greek ruins


it’s like days were currency
I’m counting them on my hands
the sunshine hours I keep in my heart
for they disappear far to soon

in a city that seems endless
my mind that is, truly is
I seek the souls that give me warmth
on a sunny day
no matter the place, I need them

it might have been established
that solitude and forest visions
dancing next to the river that carries
on, always
will save - but is this really salvation

 when the sun went down I knew
a billion lights below
I knew this was the place for me
felt it in my bones
that the earth spins and for this moment there
I was exactly were I was always meant to be

I long for these synchronicities
when everything flows in order
where the soil connects to my feet
and I align with history
become one with the ancient stone
all the calm uniting within me


there is no reality for me
only dreams and nightmares
things aligning and everything falling apart
a pure angel or Ophelia in the brook, 
dagger in their chest
sometimes I turn into creatures in the forest
but I know there is something
within comforting embraces to keep you safe
or shoulders you seek /
that depicts the universe in tiny fragments
I know there is

when the evening falls upon the meadows
near the forest were wild nettles sprawl
and insistent roots dance 
with the tiny bones in my feet
I look at the pollen float and fill the air
creating a sphere of gentle tranquillity
I know the evening sun flooding the clearing knows
my arms are strong when they need to be

I know I am beautiful even when people don’t see me
a ghost skipping over each colourful light
in the corner, invisible
they are insistent, you can’t 
break them anymore
reflections in the glass are always 
what you make them to be
they could be a spectre or mere waves
who knows
but for now I keep my distortions
they are just shadows
do no harm


arms sprawled and touching air
sunk in the greenish waters below
dragged beneath the surface
full of intention and knowing
that they would emerge again
deep in the lake there sits a creature
and he stares and he stares at them
because they share a dream in different worlds

but they both hold their tongues
in fear of disrupting the calm
for this moment bore nothing but -
and occasional visions of a youthful torso
penetrated by golden arrows
the blood merged with green below
unsung songs talked to them

we are within the glow of darkness
already know that times find an end
they always do
I cling and seem to know my future
perpetual visions of places never set foot on
know about losing myself when I change shape
so I change scenery
this is the way it has to be
the chase finds an end in the chaser never tiring
there is peace to be sought on those roads
commotion lies within rigour
and I shan’t rest

 art + poetry by alissa nathan cha (c) 2017

Wednesday, 19 April 2017

emerging / new poetry

i stopped posting thoughts on here
some time ago
because i am so visible everywhere
but these days, aren't we all?
i choose to be visible for i have things i fight for
choose to be vulnerable -
how else would we feel the ever changing beauty
of human existence?

today i stood on a clearing in the forest
and the most beautiful metaphor of this fluidity
was unfolding before me
after the rain there came the evening sun
casting my silhouette as shadow behind me
in the soft green grass
and i turned my face towards it
with closed eyes
breathed in and accepted the moment
as pure energy and happiness
when suddenly it got cold again
the light slowly disappearing
behind a grey cloud
and i took off one shoe
stepped into a puddle of icy water
the crystal clarity of this reality
(because, this is a wish)
(reality is not given to everyone)

it seems to me, with time passing
that the only way to be, to stay open
to all the beauty this planet has to offer
is embracing all the hardship and the pain
as well as love and happiness
to truly live


when you're trapped
run ! /
in thoughts, walls, ideas, fears
because these things will force you down
themselves on top of you
a heavy weight on your lungs, your heart
that makes breathing ever so scary
and every minute passing excruciating
ticking away from something you can't grasp
lost in an ocean of confusion
the past merges into present
and future equals dark clouds
lack of oxygen really

there is just calm
and movement
to shake yourself awake
make yourself understand that everything you need
lies within you
and within humanity as such
because there has never been anything stronger
than affection and respect
our human bonds are what will save us
through all the pain
we are never alone

(nathan cha, april 19th 2017)

Friday, 1 July 2016

reflections / summer skin with glitter drops / let's free what lies within

we live in an age of constant reflection
of self, the world around
we are aware and made aware
of the inequality between humans
the simplest differences becoming major separators 
and therefore dividing us all 
when in fact, we could be the same 

there are a lot of differences between cultures 
but how come we let them separate us, force us apart
for as an entity, we'd have the ability to mend
heal what has been done to this planet
done to us

yes, we know the earth is fucked
are aware that wars are fought
where there is no longer a simple explanation
where there is only money
as equivalent for the blood spilled
senseless acts of violent
cruel acts of hatred

we are facing these 
as a generation that is meant to blossom
in the light that still exists
keep our hopes high 
in a society that seeks to furthermore 
exploit us and take away everything that's unique
special to our very nature

it's dark, something that, upon further engagement 
will not lead anywhere
but for despair and depression

do not stay in this place 
leave whichever dark space these thoughts have led you to
seeing the sun, the movement of clouds
the light shining through the ceiling of leaves above
befriend a bumblebee 
(I did that today)
see the kindness in other people's eyes
bask in the generosity of their hearts 
and love yourself for the one in yours
because feeling that everyone shares their love
the appreciation in their words
their caring
will save you 

perhaps (if there is no one around)
you can discover this whole universe
within yourself
a complex structure full of wonders
all swirling and spiralling 
around worlds that are completely yours
detached from space and time
unaffected by toxic exterior happenings
pure and warming

I guess it's all about finding peace
and if the world outside can't manage that
you can find it 
in the beauty that is created 
between you and the ones you love and cherish 
and the calm within you

(alissa nathan cha, 01/07/2016)

Monday, 28 March 2016

≈ ~ just a thought

I don't believe in the inherent femininity or masculinity of human energy / a soul

I think that within ourselves we unite all genders existent in this universe

our very core is a primal light, a spectrum of all shades and colours imaginable
~ of course it comes back to a rainbow, then

if you consider previous lives as a reality / believe that possibly you have been before / would you think it to be mandatory that you have always inhabited a certain gender ?

we assign specific qualities to physical conditions / believe strength to be masculine and softness to be feminine

don't you observe both extremes within yourself - regardless of the body you inhabit?
I believe that our character, spirit and general personality is such a complex structure / web of mannerisms, interests, actions and choices, that cutting it down to binary clichés is an act of violence.

drifting through this world, day-by-day, one perceives the changes in nature, passing of seasons, the sun in the sky. one thing that is ever so inherent though, is mankind's urge to categorise and limit their experiences as human beings.

we are so capable of amazing things, realising dreams,
bringing wonders and greatness into the world.
our species has come so far and achieved so many
fantastic things, created, innovated.

the year is 2016 -
why do we still feel the need to put others in boxes?
instead of meeting each other on a purely human,
judgement-free level, why do we assign certain perceptions
before we talk? pure instinct, necessity -
or a behaviour that can be unlearned?

it is to be discussed if there is a reason, a purpose to this
(and of course there always is one)
- but really
I believe, the reality of these days is 
that if we can believe the actuality 
of us all being equal
we might redevelop empathy 
for other living beings. 

especially in days of global changes
humans seeking shelter
others being killed, // killing
there is an immense need for solidarity, alliance
we are nothing if we are alone
and the times were individuality was the only way
to succeed in certain métiers are long over

how about we start seeing each other for our strengths
and ignore / learn to accept the things that seem to differ
there is no need for envy, there is no need for categorising

only the basic notion of not drifting apart
drifting off into virtual spheres, solitude
egoism / one only caring for one's own good
- to be stopped

one human's success is not another's failure

why, we should strive to empower each other
for all of us are unique
have their individual strengths, talents, dreams
but in appreciating these differences
and, especially, what we might have in common
we can be so much stronger
and our future is limitless

(cha, 28 march 2016)

Wednesday, 16 March 2016

on gender ---

i don't believe in there being anything wrong with cis people
(cis being the term for a person who identifies with their assigned birth gender)

that being said, i feel like we should open the conversation about trans issues
to everyone
because believe it or not
cis people struggle with gender roles, sometimes similarly to trans people struggling with dysphoria

as someone who's non-binary transgender
i am forced (or let's say privileged!) to see both sides
the cis side of things and the binary trans side
but even that in itself would be oversimplifying

there is no final line between FEMALE//MALE
there are no borders
only the ones we create in our heads

when i think of gender i think of
-everything is possible-
there is this fantastic image of what people perceive gender to be (black + white)
and what it really is (a whole spectrum of a rainbow + gradients of grey)

i don't think that cis people are so very different
they just often stick to the things they have been socialised with
and perpetuate them because they think it's right
this act in itself creates an atmosphere that is harmful to every human
because it creates a false security
tells you, if you are insecure, there is still that gender role that will make you safe
there is still manhood/womanhood and all things associated with them historically
the notion of - if you fit into this category
you can survive and be safe within yourself

but don't we just create robots by this? sure, it's important to feel within your body
correct me if i'm wrong though
i just believe that there is too much emphasis put on
HOW men have to be and HOW women have to be
people generally forget that there is no such thing as typically female/male behaviour
just what society tells you it is

why can't we care about
HOW they are as a person

i have talked to cis people
who have struggled with their gender identity
simply because they thought they aren't feminine or masculine ENOUGH
to be a proper woman/man
and i feel like there is a lot of harmful things attached to that

of course i must admit that i have the tremendous privilege of knowing
a lot of wonderful, kind, adorable, intelligent people
and a lot of them are cis (the vast majority)
and a lot of them are understanding, great and feel with me when i tell them of my struggles
as a non-binary human

but i also learned to feel with them
their pain and striving to become the gender they were assigned as
and as we share empathy for the other person's situation
my understanding grows
that this society is built on false assumptions

roles and stereotypes that we force upon ourselves
thinking it would help bring structure into humankind
clarity, simplicity
when really
it makes things infinitely more complicated
than meeting humans on the sole basis 
of their being as individuals

(alissa cha, march 16, 2016)

Sunday, 6 March 2016

it all indicates a collective understanding // the sleeping flock meanders vers la lumière

everything comes together, in a way / even if it's in small scale
i had lots of talks with other humans in the last time
feeling as though they have all taught me so much
contributing to a shared understanding of things
happening in this world right now

today i rediscovered a folder that i got from a talk of trend researcher lidewij edelkoort
it was meant to predict movements/trends/topics of summer 2015
one word that really stuck with me back then (mind you, that's at least 2 years ago)
was the word 'gathering'
a social state of collective being
uniting to form something bigger than the individual

in the last time i have reflected on this a lot
happenings in the world have accumulated to create an atmosphere of fear
war, uproar, lots of human emigrating to different countries for shelter and safety
something big is changing in the world

there has been a noticeable shift
people have become so distant from their roots that, with all their power,
they try to find ways to get back to them
no wonder many people try to get into spiritual practices
try to elicit what is at their very core
heal their bodies, detox

we all seem so distant in our hectic lives
with stress, technology, competition and pressure
humanity has lost the feel for their very beginnings
or at least this highly developed western culture has

we try to synthesize authentic feelings
try to market ways to heal our body & spirit
cultivate the imitation of human intimacy
while we swipe on our screens
to choose our partners in this isolation

i see mandala tattoos wherever i look
people trying to root their bodies into something
our species has understood eternities ago
we were once soil and now we choose to cement over
every living thing that might try to snatch our feet
screams, let me be, let me live
don't you see what you are doing to this place?

it is more than a realisation though
i know some that practice finding their very core
an understanding with everything around
and still perpetuate harmful things
i feel like maybe it is time for us to realise
that we can't CONSUME happiness
it comes in the moments we least expect it
it comes with people

on a swing under the most divine starry sky
in the dim light of a street lantern
the touch or even just the understanding of someone who just knows
it can be a twig we take home with us to turn it into an art object
a million things

i feel like we should be more open to beauty
when it comes to us
because it is literally everywhere we cast our eyes upon
there is no need to search for it
for it can be found in the most quiet form
it doesn't scream, does not expect to be seen
simply exists in all its splendour

we dwell on a planet
that bursts of divine, ethereal things
offers us to feel connected
but we synthesized our needs
and now we believe everything media and advertisements tell us

if there is only one thing you do today
you might want to ask yourself
what is it that I
as myself, a human being that walks, talks, dreams
actually need?
need to exist, to be happy, thrive and evolve?

--- march 6th, 2016 / by alissa cha

thanks to everyone who has shared their thoughts on the world with me and contributed to these realisations. 

Wednesday, 10 February 2016

recent doings in the world of cha / creation of universes in tiny scale

everything i do serves the purpose to reflect this planet/ share consciousness
while simultaneously conjuring up visions of an alternate reality
i create to enter new worlds and make them accessible to others
it should be meaningful, complex, never dull or overtly simple
everything is interconnected, it's always there - on my mind

i feel an immense desire to keep alive the traditions that have been around for centuries
want to keep up working with my hands
while also using modern day technology to inform the world of my doings
and to be able to create new things as well
this planet is so rich and full of possibilities
you can do everything you might be dreaming of

i feel like appreciating other people's work
the work that keeps the whole system going
and also admire that, which pushes it all forwards
i want to learn about artists constantly
set my own creative practice into context
the extensive, interdisciplinary way of working
that i feel has stayed with me for some time now

creating art is my biggest privilege and deepest desire
something so sacred and rooted in me
connecting humans with this world
it is all ingrained into the very fabric of our being
the atoms of us, stardust and all, inscriptions of fine lines
there are words and the most evident, yet subtle feelings
developing an understanding for the nuanced changes in environments
it seems, we all stay open, constantly
open for all that is ever evolving
for what is going on
never shielding our eyes from the spot of light
that we have chosen to illuminate our understanding

i write, therefore i am
i create and do, live and feel
thus i am a breathing organism
one of an entire galaxy of beings
a tiny entity
and when all comes together
something so divinely pristine and whole is created
that everything makes sense

-(computer generated pattern fragments)

-(a hat block in progress)

-(detail of a woven piece)

-(patterns created for textile design / merging of manual illustration + technology)

(c) alissa nathanael cha, 2016

Monday, 1 February 2016

stargazing // brocade on wet asphalt / spring air

rose tinge
spring air // despise the thing that defines
was meant to be insightful into practice
and structure of systems
but now we got ourselves in deep again
over analysing

soft breeze // fresh tongue piercing (memory)
white stars on pink - pain
trapped shins, bleeding under the structure
come to life, made of planks / the nails rusting

my head hurts as it does
in the flooding light of our new home/new studio
i belong and belonged
the tree's branches pointed heavenward /vers le ciel
we danced ... never strange looks
i only dance for myself and to spread joy now
capturing notes with my little finger
conducting an orchestra of see-through spheres
monster ghosts/ non visible non
not you ( . )
what tortures me most
are societal structures in their manifold repetitions
shadows of themselves and gripping tight on what i think is right

taught myself how to break free
now i know not what is real anymore

you can't catch me - i'm smoke
how would you like to analyse something you can't hold
slipping through your fingers
i marked them
slipping through all of your minds
and our words are existent here
but mine are cryptic
for i don't know, can't tell

concepts forming // ideas shaping - i think i know how you function / best not to break it all
all down / it works, it does, like a normative life, the life all appreciate.
i can't think straight. never.
all is so alien to me and i am too. no idea how to think, what is real, what is right.
i see only how you perceive it and that this should be okay.
but in the end it's all like a pre-destined play for me. have my lines and it all works its way.
we follow the directions, our paths.
how i can i feel trapped when i'm so infinitely free?

Monday, 2 November 2015

don't dream of a good life - live it ! // let inspiration roam

 hello friends !!

 surprise ! bet you thought you'd seen the last of me.
*emerges from the woodlands, floating and gazing into the gleaming sunshine*

here we are again, it's autumn and the planet is kind.
my manifesto for right here, right now is
'don't dream of a good life - live it !'

based on reflections of gratefulness, happiness and positivity.
every now and then it can help so much to take a step back from your surroundings and think. just an evening off social activities, a day or a couple of minutes in silence. our lives are so filled with events, happenings and change that often we forget how important it can be to sit back and evaluate what it is, that brings us joy.

life often is so kind and what can be the most satisfying thing is to actually appreciate and value the good things that come our way.
living through hard times can be exhausting, being plagued by fears or worries - the important thing to do when feeling like immersed in shadows is to seek out the light to guide you.

so what is a good life?
obviously this will be determined by everyone individually.
to me, it is a sense of self, a feeling of freedom, being surrounded by humans one appreciates and that care and value you too. it is gazing into the light on an autumn day, flickering and filtering through the yellow leaves and thinking "what a marvellous thing it is, to be alive".

i used to believe that one needs to be immersed in social life (as in, hanging out with friends) all the time. it is important to be shown affection, love and that one is cared about. but what is equally as necessary to remember is that being best friends with yourself is essential to being happy.
after all, it's you that you have to deal with every day of your life, so working on dealing with your physical and ethereal presence is so paramount, and helps you in being around and with others.

<thinking about creation, dark nights only lit by a few lights, romance.>

 creation. i've recently rediscovered something i started watching while living in the UK. it's called "george clarke's amazing spaces" (and it's on youtube and on all 4). basically it's about people building fantastic things out of what they already have and it's one of the most inspiring things out there. i'm such a sucker for shows that absolutely appreciate crafts, art and DIY, especially when it's about creating aesthetically and ethereally surroundings. also becoming ever more aware of the importance of a sustainable lifestyle, i very much appreciate the thought of recycling and working with given space and materials.
generally, i've realised the value of work. doing things, being productive.
it helps curing your mind of dark things lurking there (at least some).
it can keep you from complete darkness, infinite night.
doing things with your hands, exercising your mind, getting in the flow of life, 
your body a tool, pure means to realise the beautiful visions 
that unfold from your subconscious.
 thats is pure bliss. complete freedom.

what a privilege it is to have access to one's thoughts.
to be able to elevate these into reality.
it's about working, working hard to achieve ultimate connection
with the world around, one's subconscious, people around.
the process of becoming a well-functioning human, not in means of
existing in a society, but just being a beautiful creature of this planet.
sublime, and one with the forces all around.

i am learning so many things each day.
how to exist, how to not hurt so much anymore, how to never
cease loving. finding peace and balance.
it can be so fantastic to accept that this process of constant learning is what keeps us alive, curious.
my will to change exists to keep being excited, not just be exciting.

there are always days, and always will be, when you're sick and tired of the energy it all takes. but then there are days where you just feel alright and proud to manage. proud of things working out, achievements, positive change. keep these close to your heart.

 <tattooing brings me great joy>
<a lovely person gave me lovely presents>

so this week's mantra is -
realise the good things in your life and appreciate the beauty they bring to your every day. show the people who make everything better some love, and let them know how much you appreciate them.
create great things, useful things, art, feelings. bring something into this world that no one has done before.
stay unique, ever-changing, but true to yourself.

live the amazing life that was intended for you. <3

*peace and sunshine*
 - alissa cha-

//words, images, artwork (c) by alissa cha, 2015