Saturday, 28 February 2015

Mode / Fashion / Life / Meaning

Ahoyyy readers!
As some of you will have noticed, my posts in the past few months haven't been entirely constant, my work not as ground-breaking as the contents of my mind (though, how would you guess that)
The reason ? Life, mainly, if I am honest with myself. And an epiphany.
Change in direction.
See, informed my Lidewij Edelkoorts manifesto of 'anti fashion' eg. La Mode est morte, vive le vĂȘtement!', the abstract thoughts that have been swirling in my head like soft smoke of frankincense,  are slowly coming to a point of materialisation. What exactly should the use be, in a world like this, to pursue the career as a fashion designer? I want to be a thinker, worker, entrepreneur - someone who acts out their visions without being bound by a system that largely exploits humans who are not capable of choosing anything else! I do not want to cater to wealthy people who don't even possess an understanding of what it actually is that they are buying. Or, let's say rich, let's choose the group of people for this statement, that actually do not care, know or intend to elaborate their knowledge.
As society, we have come to a point where people who lead a lifestyle of obsolescence consciously refrain from broadening their horizons. We choose to be stupid while others do not even have a chance of acquiring knowledge. It is despicable.
What I am trying to express, is that I've gone down the wrong way. Not necessarily a wrong decisions made, to put myself in this situation, for this only allowed me to see these things even clearer. I am happy to be where I am at this moment but will be over the moon when I can return.
Can not, with a good conscience, pursue the shallow sartorial road.
Even people who don't fully know me have noticed the raging storm on my mind, the never perishing passion to change, innovate.
This is a sign for me. I can not exist in a world of closed minds,  can't constantly fight the ever - growing ignorance for it would let me die something worse than death.
And it doesn't help not to be dramatic about things like this for only this behaviour allows me to truly comprehend the force that is hidden in my heart.  This is the power that shall fuel my creations, their inevitable realisations.
So, you might wonder, why always the big words and the feeble drawings? Why is the hope and inspiration I constantly talk about not something reflected in my tactile work? Well, managing a mind that overflows with ideas and things that it feels the need to do  and trying to persuade it to actually realise something without agenda,  the hope of it being instantly recognised is hard.
I wish I had a bit more mania in my life to bring things forward. Like Stephen Fry and how he described it in his documentary about bipolarity, this would be something to fuel the execution of concepts. 
Reality has a weird feeling to me. Sometimes I don't do things for I have already done them in my head - in such detail and proximity to reality that it seems obsolete to do it again. It is hard for me to distinguish between what is real and what isn't - what happened and what is yet to be done. That majorly complicates my life.
But generally my hopes are high, for there is a silver lining at the horizon, visible with a breath of spring air, memories, scent of roses. Soon- I shall be able to change - for real this time. With an environment that cares about me. Less life threatening,  dark, painful. To simply be and create. Soon.
...just in case you've been wondering what I've been up to, lately...

(c) alissa cha, 2015

Friday, 20 February 2015

ich bin gerne still in dem was ich tue
natuerlich laut und voller appetit auf freiheit, aufs leben
aber ich will nicht staendig schreien waehrend ich arbeite
wem bekommt das schon?
es ist ein privileg zu leben, zu sein, freie entscheidungen treffen zu koennen
und hier in england zu verweilen

ich schaetze es so sehr, selbst wenn ich schmerze

(c) cha, 2015

Tuesday, 10 February 2015

but when i caught it you were out of reach // fairy mist << lavender mermaid

sometimes my heart skips a beat
and i can't breathe for a second
(out of fear)
but that's okay.

bruises are alright and blood is.
this human body is meant to wither over time
but right now it is young and full of energy
the tiny independent galaxy on my knee told my mind
that it's nothing to worry about
and i agree with my knee. 

i should not cut fabric in the night
and eat as many carbs as i do when i am very active
but all in all it is not really of a big importance
for i move a great deal at times
body knows what body needs

everyone talks of so many things
judges what's good and what isn't
well, i shall continue sitting in my shimmering bubble
and try to figure out humankind.

soon i will be reunited with memories of my past
in barcelona
where violet (veilchen) mermaids 
joined my life
evoking the spirits of childhood/tween days/rose petals 

it was the perfect time i had
and wonderful mojitos <3
dreams, visions, freedom, endlessness in sunshine
in love with a romantic city
pure, ethereal poetry
infinitely happy

we will see how it turns out this time around
not of the same blood or mind
we shall form and represent youth 
(so many people travel there who would not even think
of dividing sunrays
or floating in and out of the conscious 
waves, so blue)


what is there left to say?
i should sleep but can't 
which isn't quite okay
but oh well

today --- monday actually
i used to see sense in textile experimentation (like, afterwards)
and even though we are doing design development
like i did 5 years ago
i feel really happy and motivated
through a really kind tutor
who just radiates sunshine and positivity
and does not make me think of thunderstorms
it's wonderful to have someone share excitement 
(one feels but does not feel quite like expressing)
(because one can't believe things being worthy of excitement sometimes)
i am happy for i think she does not judge me
and i need that, because i feel like so many are / i am

agog (ra) for the things to come.


xoxo, cha