Wednesday, 16 March 2016

on gender ---

i don't believe in there being anything wrong with cis people
(cis being the term for a person who identifies with their assigned birth gender)

that being said, i feel like we should open the conversation about trans issues
to everyone
because believe it or not
cis people struggle with gender roles, sometimes similarly to trans people struggling with dysphoria

as someone who's non-binary transgender
i am forced (or let's say privileged!) to see both sides
the cis side of things and the binary trans side
but even that in itself would be oversimplifying

there is no final line between FEMALE//MALE
there are no borders
only the ones we create in our heads

when i think of gender i think of
-everything is possible-
there is this fantastic image of what people perceive gender to be (black + white)
and what it really is (a whole spectrum of a rainbow + gradients of grey)

i don't think that cis people are so very different
they just often stick to the things they have been socialised with
and perpetuate them because they think it's right
this act in itself creates an atmosphere that is harmful to every human
because it creates a false security
tells you, if you are insecure, there is still that gender role that will make you safe
there is still manhood/womanhood and all things associated with them historically
the notion of - if you fit into this category
you can survive and be safe within yourself

but don't we just create robots by this? sure, it's important to feel within your body
correct me if i'm wrong though
i just believe that there is too much emphasis put on
HOW men have to be and HOW women have to be
people generally forget that there is no such thing as typically female/male behaviour
just what society tells you it is

why can't we care about
HOW they are as a person

i have talked to cis people
who have struggled with their gender identity
simply because they thought they aren't feminine or masculine ENOUGH
to be a proper woman/man
and i feel like there is a lot of harmful things attached to that

of course i must admit that i have the tremendous privilege of knowing
a lot of wonderful, kind, adorable, intelligent people
and a lot of them are cis (the vast majority)
and a lot of them are understanding, great and feel with me when i tell them of my struggles
as a non-binary human

but i also learned to feel with them
their pain and striving to become the gender they were assigned as
and as we share empathy for the other person's situation
my understanding grows
that this society is built on false assumptions

roles and stereotypes that we force upon ourselves
thinking it would help bring structure into humankind
clarity, simplicity
when really
it makes things infinitely more complicated
than meeting humans on the sole basis 
of their being as individuals

(alissa cha, march 16, 2016)

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